Legal Boxer Briefs :: Jewsade for Justice

This is a parody of The Cat in the Hat that I wrote a couple of years ago. I remember it being longer, but I guess part of it was lost. Sigh.

Well it was right awful on that cold winter day

It wouldn’t stop raining, and the sky was a dark gray

The kids were at college, and the garbage was out,

And watching the news was just making us pout

When something went bump,

And the bump made a thump.

Right in from the rain walked this man in a suit,

Right in from the rain, a suit quite astute.

He said, “why haven’t you all gone out to vote?”

He said, “why do you all just sit here and mope?

I know a place where there’s election day cheer,

Let’s go,” said the man, “for that cheer is not here.”

So off to the polling booth they followed the man,

They left to go vote with the man with a plan.

Then Billy Bob said, “Stop, let’s not go,

I left my coat at home, and it looks like it’ll snow!

We should not be going, it just isn’t right,

We should not be going,” said Bob in a fright.

But the man just replied, “We’ll have a great time,

And don’t worry at all, for it isn’t a crime.”

So onwards we went

and over those papers we bent.

Then onto computers we entered our votes

And returned from that place, happy as goats.

But that night on the news, we discovered something quite bad,

The election results weren’t quite right, and we’d clearly been had.

In the race for the house, Thing One received not even a vote,

Even though that’s for whom we had voted; and Bob took the remote.

Billy Bob said, “See? We wasted our time in that line,

I wasted my time in that line, that time that was mine!

We wasted our time in that line because of that man,

That man with a plan, the man dating Suzanne!”